As a parent, it can be frustrating to watch your child make mess in a room of toys they aren't even playing with. Sometimes it feels like they make mess for the sake of making mess. Why do they do this?
When I first heard about 'observing the child', I thought to myself 'of course - I do this every moment I'm with them' but in reality, I was supervising more than observing.
Observing my children has given me so much insight into their needs and the reasons behind their behaviours. It has enabled me to accelerate their learning in their areas of interest as well as redirect undesired behaviours.
Observation is the unsung hero behind the Montessori method. Without observing your child, you can't follow your child. Afterall, Maria Montessori stated her method was based on her observations of children, rather than her arriving at certain theories in relation to them.*
So what is observation and how do you observe your child?
What is observation?
Observation is a tool to help you see the world through your child’s eyes.
It is the act of watching your child in their environment to gain insight into their interests, abilities, and behaviours. By taking the time to observe your child, you can better understand their unique needs and preferences, which can inform your toy selection and play space setup.
How do I observe my child?
To observe your child, you don't need to set aside hours of dedicated time. Simply taking a few moments throughout the day to watch and take mental notes can be incredibly helpful.
I find it useful to observe from afar, so they don't feel like they're being watched as their behaviours may not be as natural.
As you observe your child, ask yourself questions about what they are doing, how they are doing it, and why they might be interested in that activity. Consider any patterns you notice in their behavior during playtime, as well as their preferences for certain types of toys or activities.
The more specific you can be with your observations, the more helpful it will be in choosing toys that will pique their interest. For example, 'he is interested in building things' is not as specific or useful as 'he has played with magnatiles every morning this week, after breakfast. He doesn't build with his lego blocks anymore but he is using the smaller pieces as figurines to live in his magatile tower. He has been bringing magnetic pieces from other toy sets to play with his magnatiles.'
How do I use my observations?
Once you have a better understanding of your child's interests and abilities, you can use this information to select toys and activities that meet them where they are at.
Offer toys that allow them to practice skills they are trying to master, while also slightly challenging their existing skillset. Look for opportunities to dive deeper into their favorite themes and topics, and encourage them to apply and extend their learning throughout the day, in different environments.
Using the magnatiles observation above, I deduced that he is exploring the concept of magnets and also entering the realm of small world play.
To support an engaging play space, I would:
- offer him a basket of magnetic and non-magnetic items, some with stronger magnetic force than others, for him to further explore his curiosity around magnets
- ensure he is set up for success with a flat and hard surface near his magnatiles on which he can construct
- not offer additional toys for small world play at this time, so as to encourage his resourcefulness in finding small pieces to supplement his small world play
- incorporate magnets into other areas of interest, if it makes sense to do so
- try to keep mornings after breakfast free, as this is when he seems to be most engaged in independent play.
To support a tidy play space, I would:
- rotate out the large basket of lego blocks, as he was emptying it all to find those few pieces he needed for play
- place a small basket of a limited range of lego blocks and figurines near his magnatiles, so he still has what he wants
- ensure his magnatiles are displayed in an orderly way, so he can see all the pieces he has to work with
- make sure the magnatiles are easy to pack away himself by teaching him where they belong and storing them in baskets that are easy for him to handle and put away.
In addition to helping you select toys, observation can also be helpful in redirecting undesirable behaviors. By understanding the reasons behind your child's behavior, you can make necessary changes in the play space or offer alternative activities that better suit their current needs and save your sanity.
In the example of the magnatiles above, removing the large basket of lego blocks and storing the magnatiles in an orderly way meant there were no longer hundreds of individual pieces of toys on the floor after each play. The mess was created because he was trying to find specific pieces.
Your child's interests and abilities will change over time, so it's important to continue observing and adapting your play space. By staying curious about your child you can create a tidy and engaging environment that is supportive of their development. This leads to less frustration, less cleaning and more family bonding time.
'Toys' includes anything your child plays with including activities and materials that are both closed and open-ended.
*Maria Montessori, The 1946 London Lectures, page 35
