Enough is enough!
Something has to change!
My heart raced with anger and fear as I hopped one-footed across the living room. Frustrated that I had failed to balance my lukewarm coffee while screaming like a mad woman, I could only pray that my last hop would steady me enough to land on two feet...
Before I knew it, I had crashed onto the tiled floor, holding an empty mug in one hand, feeling sorry for myself. Instead of sitting down to enjoy my lukewarm coffee, I now had to spend the next 20 minutes washing lego and mopping the floor.
Something had to change. This wasn't how I pictured parenting - I've always been able to maintain order in my life. In fact, I prided myself on it.
Breathe...she's only one...I can't expect a one year old to clean up after herself.
Breathe...have realistic expectations...just breathe...SIGH!
I've been there...far more often than I'd like to admit.
As mum to two toddlers, I quickly found myself surrounded by clutter and too many toys. I thought I had it under control until the birthday parties, Christmases and thoughtful gifts all came at once!
As a busy professional, I've always valued order in my day. Order gives structure, which frees up mental space to be strategic and creative. It creates a runway to reaching goals and achieving success. It gives me a much appreciated sense of control over my life.
Oh boy, did I take my orderly life for granted!
Enter children, enter chaos. Life became noisy. I was frazzled. Each day was a rushed blur, and the only way I could catch up was to scroll through photos of my children late at night.
After long days at work, I was always chasing the clock to pick up the children, feed them, wash them, read to them and settle them to bed. Then I'd come back outside to run the ratwheel of tidying up toys around the house. There was never enough time or energy...even with a super hands-on hubby.
I was no longer the confident, put-together person I had worked so hard to become. I was now always in deficit and found myself questioning my abilities. This wasn't how I pictured myself as a mum, and when the guilt started to gain momentum, I knew something had to change.
Leaning into my curiosity for the term 'Montessori' changed everything.
Montessori gave me permission to take my foot off the pedal on beliefs that weren't serving me as a parent.
I realised that children are far more capable than society gives them credit for. And I was embarrassed to realise how I was disabling, rather than enabling, my daughter's natural love of learning through ingrained parenting beliefs.
Everything changed when I shifted my perspective and starting seeing the world through my child's eyes. Children really are living in a giant's world.
With a few simple changes to our play space, I am no longer navigating my home like it's a minefield.
My home is now a reflection of my inner state - calm, orderly and proud.
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